crazymeow (crazymeow) wrote,

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someone please help me

I've been crying. I'm having an emotional break down right now and I have no idea why. I was just sitting down and all of a sudden I burst into tears. I had been crying for the past hour and I stopped for now but I don't think it's over. I feel very unstable and unsure right now. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Am I crazy? Why am I crying?

These past four months have been really hard for me. School is so hard. This university is killing me. I can't handle the competition and the pressure here. I feel like I don't measure up, like I'm not intelligent enough. Everyone is so impersonal here, I feel like everyone is in their own world and never has the time to stop and help anyone else. This is why I'm on Livejournal. I know if I called anyone they probably won't pick up and even if they did, they're not going to have the heart to listen to all this. I've had a lot of emotional stress built up and I don't think I ever let it out. Maybe this crying is me finally letting it all out? I don't know, I hate being unstable, I hate that I am unstable. I wish I could control my emotions more. I wish I knew why I have my emotions and why they come out at such unexpected times.

Someone please help me.

Idk what to do. I feel like such a wreck. I know I have this paper to write that's due on Thursday and I have very little idea where I'm going with it but I know I have to write it all tonight because I have so many obligations this week that I just don't have an extended period of time to work on it. I also have a project and presentation for Monday of next week . . . haven't started that either. I have to read all of Paradise Lost this week. And I have to write an essay in Japanese, memorize it, and recite it to the class on Friday. This crying business is not helping with the stress I already feel right now. I wish I could fast-forward to Friday so that none of this week will have ever happened.

I'm terrified of tomorrow . . . I'm terrified of 11:00 . . . and I'm terrified of 10:30! I wish time would stop so I could just breath!

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