|| fucked up in the head & tired
So I'm like updating my journal now, in case no one can tell. You'd have to be a complete idiot to not be able to tell that I'm updating. OMG...I'm sorry, are you crying?!!! NO, i didn't mean to call you an idiot, omg, i'm so sorry. It's ok, don't feel bad. We're not all smart up there in the head. OH NO, REALLY, I didn't mean to say that, don't cry, what, YOU WANNA KILL YOURSELF?!!!! NO, don't do that. Goodness, what did i get myself into...*five hours and 20 cups of herbal tea later*. You're better now? YAY, see i told you it would be alright. So anyways...
back to my journal. Well, lets see. Someone told me today that it's akward to be obsessed with a country. Well I can totally see where he's coming from. I guess that would be akward. Anyways, well i'm so happy because my dad bought tickets to the Nancy concert that's coming over here (Nancy's this lebanese singer who is just pure...kuwaki). I guess she's doing a U.S.A tour. Also, we're going on a cruise this summer. How hot is that gonna be?!!!!! I've been on two cruises b4 but that was before my hormones were in full blast. HAHA, can't wait to see all the HOT guys. You never know, i might just meet someone. Anyways, what else to say? For anyone who knows me, or knows how i look, i have a question. Do you think i could have a wonderful amazing boyfriend one day? Like just perfect in every way. I want a bf who's incredibly gorgeous, nice, sweet, funny, and everything else in the good bf recipe. Does anyone think i can find that? I mean, i know guys like that are rare; I'm not naiive. But in the event that a man like that does pop up, does anyone think that someone that perfect would be with me? I've been a little worried lately. A boyfriend has been on my mind a lot lately. It depresses me so much that everyone else in highschool can have bf's and gf's and i'm stuck loveless because i'm too closeted to do that stuff. Plus there's no one worth having at my school. All the fags are either queens or simply evil. I just have this feeling that i'm gonna be lonely for the rest of my life. I've been fantasizing about my secret crush a lot lately (you know who that is Jeff). I love him sooooooo much.
well i gotta go, did this post make any sense? it was just nonsense rambling wasn't it? hahahahahaah
ok, seriously bye, please just go, leave me alone, GET OUT OF MY FACE. OMG, what a bitch, I'm gonna cry again. NO DON'T CRY!!! No not again...