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[02 May 2005|07:18am]
[ mood | weak ]

I hate that i always have to dry my tears? I think crying is a sort of release of negative energy from my body; so it sucks that i always have to eventually dry my tears when i cry. I cried last night. I cried A LOT. I don't think i fell asleep untill 1'O clock even though i went to bed at 10:30. It's the next morning but I'm still on a crying high right now. You know that feeling? After a really "good" cry you feel really weak and tired but sort of in another world, like the crying just took you away...well that's how i feel, and i think i'm about to burst again. I don't think i'm gonna make it in school today. I dont' see how i'm going to survive the taunts and jokes that i get called in school everyday. I'll surely break down eventually throughout the day. I just hope its not so noticeable. I hate that i have to dry my tears all the time. I hate that I always have to hide them...hiding my tears all the time. I can only cry in my bed, when everyone else is asleep and no one knows. I hate that. Nobody knows the personal shit i go through everyday and i don't know how to tell them. All i know how to do is cry; and i have to hide that. My life is useless..."Your life isn't worth a thing...Life isn't worth a thing."(a quote from one of my favorite books)

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