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stop and breath! [12 Dec 2008|01:24pm]
I don't want to update my fucking settings! STOP TELLING ME TO UPDATE MY LIFE, WORLD!
3 purrs|meow for me

I feel like making a post . . . SO DEAL WITH IT! [12 Dec 2008|12:44pm]
[ mood | NOW ]

"Hey, you, reader, listen to me! I'm not used to being listened to all that often - none of my people are for that matter - so I'm just asking for two minutes of your time and hopefully you'll give me more time after you keep reading"

I decided that will be the opening statement of the book I am writing, about things. Yes, I'm writing a book about things, simply things. I notice a lot of things lately: things about race, things about war, things about love, things about snow crunching beneath my boots, things about friends on drugs, things about having sex on drugs, things about crying on drugs,  things about doing all of the above sober, things about eating, things about not eating, things about books, things about French men who think "Arabiens" are hot, things about STD's, things about blond boys, things about Jewish boys, things about song lyrics that are like math equations, things about borders, lines, boxes, and walls, things about blond boys giving me STD's, things about Jewish boys who love me anyways, things about eggplants, things about my mom cooking eggplants, things about childhood memories helping my mom cook eggplants, things about burning cities, things about people laughing in burning cities, things about people fighting in burning cities, things about smoking hookah in burning cities, things about the word "hookah," things about the word "Arguileh," things about Madonna, things about Khalil Gibran, things about dancing to Madonna with my sisters and aunts when I was five, things about gay men, things about Madonna, things about gay men who don't notice me, things about lonely cats, things about lonely sisters, things about lonely beds, things about men who like cats that sleep in lonely beds, things about God, things about how no book can be written without mentioning God, things about forgetting what you should do, things about doing what you have to do, things about energy, things about energy living through me, things about my destiny as an instrument of energy, things about now, things about now, things about now, things about now, things about now, things about now, things about how even if I say it enough times, people still won't think about NOW!

coming soon . . . don't miss it!

4 purrs|meow for me

someone please help me [02 Dec 2007|10:12pm]
[ mood | idk . . . I'm scared ]

I've been crying. I'm having an emotional break down right now and I have no idea why. I was just sitting down and all of a sudden I burst into tears. I had been crying for the past hour and I stopped for now but I don't think it's over. I feel very unstable and unsure right now. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Am I crazy? Why am I crying?

These past four months have been really hard for me. School is so hard. This university is killing me. I can't handle the competition and the pressure here. I feel like I don't measure up, like I'm not intelligent enough. Everyone is so impersonal here, I feel like everyone is in their own world and never has the time to stop and help anyone else. This is why I'm on Livejournal. I know if I called anyone they probably won't pick up and even if they did, they're not going to have the heart to listen to all this. I've had a lot of emotional stress built up and I don't think I ever let it out. Maybe this crying is me finally letting it all out? I don't know, I hate being unstable, I hate that I am unstable. I wish I could control my emotions more. I wish I knew why I have my emotions and why they come out at such unexpected times.

Someone please help me.

Idk what to do. I feel like such a wreck. I know I have this paper to write that's due on Thursday and I have very little idea where I'm going with it but I know I have to write it all tonight because I have so many obligations this week that I just don't have an extended period of time to work on it. I also have a project and presentation for Monday of next week . . . haven't started that either. I have to read all of Paradise Lost this week. And I have to write an essay in Japanese, memorize it, and recite it to the class on Friday. This crying business is not helping with the stress I already feel right now. I wish I could fast-forward to Friday so that none of this week will have ever happened.

I'm terrified of tomorrow . . . I'm terrified of 11:00 . . . and I'm terrified of 10:30! I wish time would stop so I could just breath!


10 purrs|meow for me

HIYA!!!!!! MOSTLY FRIENDS ONLY Lo Siento, mucho [14 Jul 2005|01:00pm]
[ mood | hmmmm ]

Most of this journal has become friends only. So unless you're my friend you're missing out on a lot. Don't worry tho. It's not like this is American Idol or anything.lol. Just drop a comment anywhere and most likely, 99% sure, I'll add you (you just gotta let me know that you want me to add you.lol). Ciao, meeeooow,

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

(so if you wanna join my fanclub, you know what to do

60 purrs|meow for me

[14 Jul 2005|11:20am]
[ mood | excited ]

omg, everyone come look at my hot new journal. IT'S SOOOO COOOOL!!!!!

www.livejournal.com/users/crazymeow please come look everyone. Its so cool and sweet. I love it so much. I owe it all to Sipho84. He did 100% of it for me. He did everything. He's so awesome. Yay. I can't take any credit for it. So everybody give Sipho84 a hug and a kiss for me...that is unless he doesn't want them.lol. Thanks so much Markus. I love ya. *muah* and meows meow meow, purrrrrr.

3 purrs|meow for me

[12 Jul 2005|12:04am]
[ mood | sad, distressed, and tired ]

I feel ugly again. I don't know why. And i know someone is gonna feel bad after reading this cus they're gonna think its their fault. But its not. Its my fault. I'm too self consious and hard on myself. I feel ugly and unless everyone in the entire world finds me attractive, i'll never feel hot. It's depressing too. I wish i was hot. I guess I'm just gonna get plastic surgery. Definitely my nose, lips, and ears. I'll reshape all of em. Then maybe i'll feel good about myself. In the meantime i'm just not that confident about my looks. I feel sad now. I'm gonna go stick my ugly head in a box. *cries*. I think i'm gonna delete those Hawaii pics off my journal cuz i can't stand to look at myself anymore. ahhhhhh (and for that same person who might think this is their fault, well i'm not mad at them. I'm just sad. Sad that I'm ugly and the fact that i care so much says how superficial i am. And that makes me even more sad. I'm such a depressing person. It's a shock anyone even talks to me. Well the few who do).

13 purrs|meow for me

[ mood | how terribly sorry I am ]

Let's just all meditate:...

So I feel it is really important to devote an entry in my journal to this, - kind of like a little memorial - that i send out all my condolences to the people of London for the attack that was imposed on them. Not just for the people who were killed, but for everyone. This is something that effects the stability of the entire world and I think this should make people come together even more. The terrorists attack us purposely to make us falter and come apart. We should be encouraged to come together and remain strong. This means that you should try to end your hate and stop trying to seek vengeance on others, but instead focus on loving the people around you. I say this because, as a Muslim, I am disgusted at the terrorists and how many of them use religion to create hate. Some terrorists conduct their attacks in the name of Islam, knowing very well that killing others is probably the greatest sin you can commit in the Muslim religion. I also would like anyone who's reading this to know that Muslims are not evil people and most of us abhore and are disgusted by these types of attacks. These are the kind of people we avoid and despise with passion because it's because of them that Islam (and the entire Middle East) has been given a bad image. So I ask that you not be prejudice towards Muslims or Arabs because after 9/11 I can't count how many racist insults I've heard directed towards me. So I'm simply asking that you try to accept them and not make those same racist comments that I've heard myself because if you do, then you are only preventing us from coming together and remaining stable. If everyone in the world accepts and respects everyone else, acts like these can be totally avoided. Everyone, please embrace love, not hate, and end the violence everywhere. Lastly, I just want to say that I'm terribly sorry for what happened in London and the entire state of the world these days, for everything that's been happening: from the attack in Beirut Lebanon earlier this year, to the train bombings in Madrid Spain, and of course for 9/11, it's all so sad *shakes head in sadness*, I can only hope for peace everywhere, and am constantly wishing for it. I hope someday we can all just get along. Until then, I'm trying my best to love everyone and never judge. Well that's all i have to say about this...


28 purrs|meow for me

Michealangelo [07 Jul 2005|02:04pm]
[ mood | awake ]

You are Michelangelo!
You are Michelangelo...You are fun-loving and
free-spirited, and you always know how to bring
a smile to your friends' faces when they are
feeling down. You are also a bit of a slacker.

Which Ninja Turtle Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yes!!! He's my favorite

meow for me

yummmm! [06 Jul 2005|10:22pm]
[ mood | bored ]

I love star ocean Yaoi (I borrowed these pics from pinkpinstripe04, so i gotta give due credit).

They're so hot and yummy tho, hehe ^ ^

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
hehehe, that's hot. I wanna be Albel

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

(In my opinion these are all work safe so don't all come yelling at me telling me i need to LJ cut them).

15 purrs|meow for me

[20 Jun 2005|11:39pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Why do i have such an attraction to people who make me feel like shit? I get bothered by the people who actually do like me and are truly nice to me but i always eagerly follow those who are rude and jerkoffs to me. It seems like the more they treat me like shit the more i wanna talk to them. For some reason, evil people attract me. I'm so fucked up. My life is so backwards. Everything about me is flipped up, turned upside down, and shook all around. I think i'm clinically depressed. I wanna see a psychologist but where am i supposed to find one? Its not like my parents will take me to one. God forbid; it'll ruin the good family name if they had a "crazy" in the family. I'm not crazy. I just wanna see someone i can talk to. I think its just my family that's killing me. Slowly killing me. I need to get out of here. I cannot live so supressed for much longer. A whole year until i graduate seems like so long. I HAVE TO GET OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!!! Please, someone get me outta the suburbs. I need to be away from all this craziness that surrounds me. I wanna get outta here so i can have a clean slate and start everything that i messed up all over. I'm only in high school and i've already messed stuff up. I hope college is gonna be better than this.

24 purrs|meow for me

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